Once a deconstructivist ...... not always a deconstructivist.

The amazing Shelley climbed into the ropes and curled herself into herself at Paul Fowler's 'Extreme Poses' on Thursday morning January 23rd. How could I not respond to the sculptural beauty of her pose in a holistic complete way. After the first two drawings I felt I had done justice not only to the effort that Shelley had put in to presenting us with something special, but also to myself in acknowledging that the beauty of the female nude should not (at times) be challenged and transformed into a representation of a very personal perception and at times academic pursuit. Then I did deconstruct for the 3rd and 5th pose. During the 4th pose I seem to recall I got consciously aware of the nature of my mark-making as I tried and tried to get the proportions correct as the head moved back and forth, the hands grew and then reduced in size, and the feet got longer and longer. I recall feeling that I wanted the drawing to exhibit and communicate my explorative and experimental process I was following.

This was a fascinating morning of fairly diverse engagements with aspects of life-drawing which have emerged and occupied my attention in recent times.

My perceptions of Andrew on Jan 16th 2020

My perceptions of Clare on Jan 9th 2020

The mark from the heart: a pre-Christmas treat.

This and my next two postings cover the workshops I attended over in Stroud run by Paul Fowler just before Christmas (see 'A paradox for meditation' and 'The Nude and the Lady in the Hoop')

Here, I just wanted to add a thought about the relationship between my use of fine-liner pens and the graphite pencils (these are the two mark-making tools I used throughout the four days).

• Fine-liner pen is 'exacting' and 'slower' which encourages a thoughtful process. It brings my 'conscious' into the process.
• Graphite pencil engages with 'the heart' as opposed to 'the mind'.
• It's as simple and straightforward as: the 'considered response' as opposed to the 'intuitive response'.
• Graphite pencil is 'the mark from the heart'.

OK, not as simple as I describe. But, food for thought.

A paradox for meditation

I've talked of my belief that I have been engaging with the 4th-Dimension and the 6th-Sense as part of my perceptual processes in my life-drawing. I have also suggested that I am finding the idea of 'The Impossible Drawing' to have some relevance.
Below I include an item from my note-book. It is an amazing image which at first glance may appear fairly straightforward. But one soon becomes aware, as the eye moves from one part to another, that something very strange is taking place. Ultimately, one concludes that the 3-dimensional structure is, in fact, an impossibility. Continued concentrated examination fails to come to a conclusion as to the form being presented.

Throughout the past years my drawings have moved in this direction. Re-juxtaposing anatomical parts and utilising superimposition and transparency, have resulted in somewhat complex compositions which demand examination over time to discover what is actually happening. Often images emerge to the beholder which were not apparent when the drawing is first looked at (this phenomena happens to me also, and this with my own drawings, and I love it when this happens).

Now, this may be a pretentious starting point (the work of Daniel Raymond Chadwick) to introduce my next set of life-drawings, but it is an inspirational one! So my key words to help place what I have been doing in some sort of context are:  ……..AMBIGUITY....ILLUSION....PARADOX...…..SURREAL...…..

The 20 or more drawings represent my output from the two 2-day workshops ( December 11/12 and 18/19) run by Paul Fowler at Pegasus Art in Stroud, England. His title is 'Circus to Stage' (a two day work shop exploring movement and costume with two models) with a nude model and a circus performer in a leotard twirling in her hoop. The model assumed various poses in the usual suspended ropes and on plinths but each in a 'spatial' relationship with the lady in the hoop.
[www.paulfowlerartcourses.co.uk]. In general each pose was held for about 30 minutes with some variation in timing due to the degree of difficulty.

The Nude & The Lady in the Hoop

My drawing is my feeling on paper.........

You can best achieve success at meditation by not pursuing success, and achieving this success may mean caring less about success, at least as success as conventionally defined.

I have always considered my life-drawing to be a meditative activity, and have worked towards making it more so. Just as the role of concentrating on breathing helps one enter a meditative state so concentrating on my life-drawing process helps my life-drawing activity become a meditative tool.

To this end I frequently embark upon self-analysis (as this blog gives evidence to)  and more recently have attempted to understand my perceptual engagements between my mind, my seeing, my mark-making, my space within and beyond the surface of the paper, my model, and the complex dialogue taking place within the processes of the life-drawing event.

My life-drawing meditation has brought me closer to the truth, closer to beauty, harmony and goodness. It is good to think about process...…… It is even better to realise one is thinking about process.

The wandering (worrying/concerning) mind: What you are generally not doing when your mind is wandering is directly experiencing the present moment. If there is one aspect of life-drawing that the caucus of my life-drawing colleagues agree on is that when the model assumes the pose 'silence-breaks-out' as each person enters into their own world of engagement and dialogue.

So, success for me is not the 'quality' of the end product, however that may be defined. For me success is the inherent 'depth' of the perceptual processes I engage with and enter in to.

I started this posting by claiming that 'my drawing is my feeling on paper', and I probably made this connection through a Buddhist philosophy 'Feelings just are!' One accepts their arising and subsiding, rather than reacting to them. Well, within the 30 minutes of each pose at Extreme Poses in Stroud, there is not time to react. And so there is no time to question, to analyse, to consciously think about, what is appearing on the paper. One is in a meditatively creative state of mind. And objective analysis (a rationality) should be kept separate from the creative act.

So I do not draw in order to produce an end product. But I do take the end product to help inform myself as to what occurred during the making of the end product. One conclusion, which I have alluded to on many occasions in my postings is that I tend (but not always) to focus on parts of the pose rather than the whole. I deconstruct the pose into anatomical parts and reconstruct in a way that says something about how I am seeing. A result of this process, in the drawing, is that things that seem to be true at first glance are in fact not true. In other words I am creating, for the beholder of my drawing, an illusion. This has developed to such a degree that when I myself return to one of my drawings I often get an idea of the main image or content but then uncertainty enters and I have to spend time searching to identify what I have actually drawn. Sometimes I give up attempting to recall the process of making the drawing and on what I have actually included. My superimpositional juxtapositioning and my overlapping and transparency are fundamental to this phenomena.

I have talked in the past of my engagement with the 4th Dimension and the 6th Sense, and I have written of my understanding of how these have become part of my life-drawing process. Recently I have begun to contemplate whether 'The Impossible Figure' can relate to what I do. I am beginning to consider that it may be fundamental. In the drawings of Escher and of Daniel Raymond Chadwick I have found parallels. That which appears feasible (or true) to start with, upon closer inspection starts to look unlikely and finally is just not possible.

I want to append to this analytical insight into my art a reminder that I believe my two-handed-drawing, which is now seven and a half years old, suggests a more holistic activity is taking place. By holding a pencil in both hands and making marks simultaneously with each hand am I enhancing the use and interaction between the two sides of my brain? As I move back and forth from my paper are my motor movements participating in a spatial continuum which passes through the surface of my paper and encompasses the space beyond to embrace the pose and this providing a channel for the energies and personality of the model to reach me?

I am adding two images:
The drawing is a big one, far bigger than my usual A1. It appeared right at the start of my two-handed time, and also was one of my introductory experiments with fine-liner pens. I call it my 'squiggle' technique'. The two pens made marks working closely together, as they explored the form. I recall there are two models, a male and a female. It was one of Paul Fowler's double-model days. Here I am a 'tonalist' - there are no continuos lines. Now, I am a 'linierist', and to me a line may represent a tonal contrast or on occasions even a colour. But essentially a line promotes 'spatiality'.

Looking back I  believe that this drawing together with a few others at the time heralded a real breakthrough in my life-drawing journey following a growing frustration with my realistic interpretations of the classic standing, sitting or reclining pose.

I have referred in the past to what I believe and understand to be:
my cubism
my simultaneity
my interpenetration
my superimposition
my transparency
my space-time 4th Dimension
my layering of planes
my layering of spaces
my passage thro' into the paper

Whilst the above are seen as fundamental characteristics of my thinking and of my drawing I am beginning to add a new language in my attempt to understand my thinking and my drawing:
Paradox...…………………
Meditation...……………...
Illusion...………………….
Surrealism...………………
Collage...………………….
Ambiguity...………………
The Impossible Figure...….
Spiritual...………………...

I am in between two double days at Paul Fowler's 'Extreme Poses' at Pegasus Art in Stroud with two models on each occasion. I have completed the first of these and am excited by the prospect of taking a look at my drawings and seeing what happened. My feeling is that the above language, which has been emerging over recent weeks, will be clarified by the content of my drawings. But I have yet to see if this is the case. When completed I will photograph and post them.

I believe there is more to come. As Ava Gardner is quoted as saying: "Deep down, I'm pretty superficial". I feel I have touched what is for me a fairly deep level of understanding of what I do but I want to go deeper into the processes of my life-drawing. However, it was Charlotte Rampling who said, "You cannot watch yourself, dispassionately" and hence my out pourings on my blog. Finally, James Turrell added, "My desire is to set up a situation to which I take you and let you see. It then becomes your experience" ……. but I believe that I am setting up situations which allows me to see and then I take forward (perhaps most often subconsciously) the experience gained.